leaving in my heart.

Listening to: Drifter by Decemberadio.
Quote love: "A book is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it, or explore an explosive idea without fear it will go off in your face. It is one of the few havens remaining where a man's mind can get both provocation and privacy." Edward P. Morgan

  

It's funny, the things that make me want to leave. A taste of Dutch cheese or chocolate, a picture of Paris, memories of my summer, reading Jane Austen or C.S. Lewis, the wind blowing that, somehow, smells like England, the lesson of French I took this morning. 

My mom came back from Europe on Sunday. She told us stories...visiting Hilversum, the town we used to live in, walking around Amsterdam, going down to our village in England. With every word I wanted to leave. I love Europe: how close everything is, the cobblestone streets outside our old house, biking everywhere, open-air markets twice a week, inexpensive fresh flowers, the languages, all the different cultures immersed in one place. I miss it.

repeating old words.

Listening to: Live it Up by Group 1 Crew.
Quote love: “One was a book thief. The other stole the sky." Markus Zusak, from the Book Thief.

I began and finished the Book Thief this weekend. I was in a van on the way to Chicago when I finished. I sat there with the book in my hands for a few minutes before I put it down; I crawled into the back seat and lay there, debating whether I wanted to cry. It was amazing, beautiful, and sad.

I'm head-over-heels in love with Darcy. He's amazing...he works well, takes beautiful pictures, and he's completely amazing. I haven't had to edit any pictures since I've gotten him.

My giveaway. Yeah, that one. You followers are so disappointing sometimes! I had all of two people enter, one of them being my sister. So here's the thing: I'm postponing it indefinitely. I will probably open it up at some future time, but for now, I'm closing it down. Speaking of my sister, Darcy takes great pictures of her. :)

Fall is finally here. I could go over everything again, but I've said it all: Pumpkin Spice Latte, beautiful fall leaves, You've Got Mail, bonfires, wool socks and boots, comfy old hoodies.

I keep expecting this autumn to be like last year. I get tripped up when I realize how different everything is, and how much I've changed. This time last year, all my time was spent at soccer games and church. I would try as hard as I could not to miss a game. We would huddle under blankets and hoodies against the cold and the rain. Every Sunday and Wednesday night I would be at church, and I loved it. I started my sophomore year somehow expecting it to be like my freshman year: before my friendship with someone incredibly close to me shattered. It's different now, but in a good way, I think.

Darcy take gorgeous pictures, and this one is my new favorite. :)

the brand new camera.

Listening to: Jesus Muzik by Lecrea. 
Quote love: “At the end of the day, we got a fish-tank, two fighting fish, and pitted them against each other in what we thought would be an epic battle. Turns out that it was a lady fish and a man fish, and they just kissed on the lips the whole time. Love is a mystery than can only be grasped by the weak and vulnerable."  Matt Theissen

It's here. I love it so much. I could pretend that I know what I'm doing, I know how to use it, and I know how to get the autofocus button to work, but I don't.

It's slightly frustrating, but way more rewarding. The pictures aren't great yet, but they're getting better.

I'm still learning to use the flash correctly and remembering that this is not a point and shoot, and the lenses don't go in by themselves.

I'm still trying to work out the kinks, find what shooting style is easiest, and realizing that my lenses will hit my sister in the eye if I get to close.

I'm waiting for the leaves to change to crimson, and fall to the ground for my brother rake up in big piles. I'm waiting until the temperature goes down from the 90s and it starts to feel like autumn again. And the camera (affectionately named Darcy)? Well, I love it.

love:

It's here. And I love it.so.much. It's absolutely beautiful. I cannot stop smiling....I lovelovelove it. My Pentax k100d. My brother laughed at me when I told him I wanted to name it Gregor. You know, from the Metamorphosis? I liked that novel. I can't wait to take some amazing pictures. :)

happy fall.

Listening to: How to Save a Life, by the Fray
Quote love: “If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there.” Lewis Carroll

My room smells like warm coffee mixed with Stride gum. The old, dusty book smell (irreplaceable to people like me) winds in and out of the heavy coffee scent. On a good day, the outside air comes in, filling the room. It pulls the fresh-off-the-line sheet smell and twirls it through the smell of Redken Fresh Curls that lingers in the air by my mirror. The rain pounding down outside my open window comes in, puddling slightly at the edges of the broken windowsill.

I stand close to the window and run my hand across the screen. The rain is coming in harder now. The countryside comes alive in the rain, the heavy gray sky overshadowing the vibrant greens and reds. This is fall: bright colors, cool days and cold nights, crisp air, bright stars scattered across the sky like so many pieces of broken diamonds. Fresh apples, slowly burning fires, long hot showers, rain pouring down.