I have problems with that cliche phrase, "home is where the heart is." My heart doesn't tend to stay in one place. Parts of it are scattered all over Europe, the United States, and now the Middle East.
Leaving people hurts. It hurts me because I know how much I'll miss them, and it hurts them because they'll miss me. Being a former MK, I'm used to leaving and saying goodbye, but that doesn't make it hurt any less each time. My friends will talk about how they've spent their whole lives in Muncie. That's incomprehensible to me. The longest I've lived in one place is a little more than five years, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. I love moving, new places, new languages and experiences. I hate that I have to leave to go somewhere new.
I'm torn. I'm leaving in two weeks, and I'm not at all ready. I keep telling people that I'm ready to be home, and I am, I'm just not at all ready to leave. I'm ready to be back in my own house, in my bright yellow room, with my fat fluffy cats. I'm ready to see my family and my best friends. I'm ready to go to church, ready to feel the rain again. I'm not ready to leave my new family here. On Monday night when I got home I walked inside the house. The five year old got up from his dinner, ran to me, and grabbed me tight around the stomach. "Katie, I missed you," he told me. I'm not ready to leave that. I'm not ready to leave Ultimate Frisbee on Fridays. I'm not ready to leave late night talks with Lori. I'm not ready to go back to where everyone speaks English and waits for the whole street to clear before crossing. I'm not ready to go home, but I'm ready to be home.
That being said, I absolutely cannot wait to be back home. I miss my family and my second family (Ali's family) so much. I cannot wait to be back in Muncie, seeing her family two or three times a week and being with mine every day.
"Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos." Charles M. SchulzRight now I'm wishing that I could be in two places at once. Either that, or the Middle East was closer to Indiana.